Here’s Why God Is Keeping You Single

Why is God keeping me single is a question that I bet most single ladies have asked themselves at some point.

Especially after having been single for a while.

Like I always say, God created us to thrive in community, to thrive in relationships. No man is an island, and because of that, we are meant not to be alone.

Seasons of singleness are also ok, but there comes a point when you are ready for a godly relationship. You pray for it but nothing seems to work.

It appears as if God is not letting up as far as getting a godly man is concerned. And it is usually at that point that you find yourself asking, “Why is God keeping me single?”

I know from experience a couple of reasons why God keeps someone single, at least for a while. In my season of singleness, God has revealed to me some of the reasons why God keeps people single for some seasons.

And I will share with you why God is keeping you single hoping to revive your hope and patience in his divine timing.

He is preparing you to be the best version of yourself as a wife

The first reason why God is keeping you single is that you are not ready to be a wife so he is preparing you to be a godly wife.

God is keeping you single because he knows your heart. Only he knows the end from the beginning. He knows the pain that you have gone through in your past relationships and childhood traumas that may be undealt with.

Because he knows you so well he wants you to heal from that, he wants to heal and remove all those things from your life that may hinder your marriage.

God knows that these traumas will hold you from becoming the best wife that he expects you to be so until you are ready he will keep working on you.

After that he wants you to be the perfect wife who will submit to her husband. The perfect wife who will fulfill all the godly requirements of a wife to her husband.

Before I gave my life to God I didn’t know what the bible expected from me as a wife. And I sure was not going to submit to anyone. I had severe pride and would not be told what to do by anyone. 

Honestly, if I had gotten married at that time I would have made a terrible wife. That is why God kept me single and stopped my impending marriage.

This was me. I would have nagged the poor guy nuts because I had not been renewed and transformed by the word of God by making me know what is required of me as a wife, a godly wife.

So in those quiet nights when you find yourself asking, Why is God keeping me single? Remember this truth. 

God is keeping you single for a while, while he works on you to mold you into the biblical wife that his sons deserve. Remember God also loves that man that you are waiting for so he is preparing you for him.

He is still preparing your husband

The same way God takes time to fix you, heal you and restore you to become the perfect wife for his sons is also another reason why he may be also keeping you single.

The man of your dreams may also still be not ready in terms of being the man that you deserve. He may still have also past hurt, pains, and childhood traumas that he needs to work on before becoming the man that God wants him to be for you.

God may be keeping you single because maybe the poor guy is still unsaved, living his best (worst really) life in the world.

If your husband is not yet ready to love you the way Jesus loves the church then he is not yet ready.

So while God is making him ready for you then sis, you gotta wait. So listen, next time that anxiety creeps in and you find yourself wondering Why is God keeping me single?. 

This is what you need to hold on to. What’s the harm in waiting for a little longer for a perfect product right? Instead of rushing to get something that will cause you so much pain and stress.

So just trust God and enjoy your season of waiting while he prepares both you and your spouse for the perfect marriage.

Because wants the best for you and his son, who is your prospective bae. So trust that he is keeping you single for reasons that will benefit you.

You are undergoing the purification process

Ladies, remember that prayer that we make sometimes to God for him to purify you until all the nastiness from you is gone? 

Maybe that’s the prayer that you made and God is working in you to heal and mend all the things that are not pleasing to him.

Remember most of us came to Jesus in our adult years which means that we had picked up a lot of bad and evil things along the way.

We had allowed strongholds to take root in our minds and taking these down and changing our thinking patterns do take a lot of time. Maybe we have opened doors to evil spirits that we need to be delivered from before we join our lives to another.

Maybe this is the process that God is taking you through and he doesn’t want a new relationship to distract or derail your progress into being and becoming the person whom he created you to be. 

We don’t want to bring curses and evil spirits to a marriage. Let God purify us while he keeps us single.

It’s human nature to expect an instant response when we ask for something. So the question Why is God keeping me single, comes usually when you feel that your answer is delaying.

But remember that marriage is so much more than what we see on the outside. It is a joining of 2 souls.

So both of you need to have spiritual garbage cleared out before marriage. Getting rid of soul ties and so forth takes time.

So until then,. Until you are ready both spiritually and physically don’t ask the question Why is God keeping me single. 

He wants you to marry for the right reasons

Most of us want to marry because of societal reasons. Or because of fleshly reasons because we cannot control our lusts. And that’s ok because Paul says if you can’t control your desires it’s better to be married than to die of lust.

To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 

But God also wants to take some time to break away from negative thinking patterns of idolizing marriage or idolizing the man you wanna marry. That way the marriage or that man will become an idol and will take the place of God.

God wants you to have a relationship with him, just the 2 of you.

With no one included. Then when you know what love is, the one that only God gives then you may be ready to go and have a relationship with someone else.

You can’t love, someone, before you love yourself. And you must not want to get into a marriage for that guy to fill the void that only God can fill.

So God wants you to first allow him to fill that void. Experience his love. Have a relationship with him.

Then get married because you want to not because you need to.

A marriage out of need will become a toxic marriage, and God doesn’t want that for us.

All this may seem irrelevant to us, but not to God. So don’t worry about Why is God keeping me single? Because God wants you to marry for the right reasons and does not want anyone to take his place in your life.

He wants to cultivate your faith and patience in him

So, tell me what’s new. The waiting period is so so hard. It’s hard to wait for anything in this life.

Singleness is bearable and less stressful when you are not actively looking for a relationship and are intentionally pursuing singleness. 

Tables turn when you start praying for marriage, fast and do all you can for God to do his thing and make it work for you.

But the more you wait the more you see nothing happening.

That can become frustrating, especially for us ladies in our 30s, we start having fears about the biological clock. 

We start listening to what society says about how you should have kids by a certain age.

But in all this, God is trying to grow your faith. 

The more your faith is tested, the more your patience is tested the stronger and more reliant and trusting in God you become.

Allow God to do his thing. Stop stressing yourself wondering Why is God keeping me single? 

Your role is to Trust that in his time he makes everything happen.

Have faith that God is working in the backend for your own good and all you have to do is be still and know that he is God.

You are called and he has a special person for you 

This particular one is one that I have grown to learn the hard way.

So basically God does not have to tell you uprightly that this is your husband. You are free to choose who you want apostle Paul said.

But there are certain cases where God’s calling or anointing upon your life is so strong that something as simple as the wrong man can cost you your whole calling.

Imagine you are called to be an apostle or any position in ministry and you marry a brother from church who is content only with being a regular Christian.

But your calling is say an evangelist as a woman, which involves traveling to different countries with the gospel.

That man, even though he loves God will not be the best mate for you.

God will pair you with someone who will support you in your calling and even work with you.

Not all Christians are ready to lay their lives up and go wherever God sends them. I personally told God to send me anywhere and I will go.

So God knowing his plans for me will not allow me to marry someone who wants to do a regular 9-5 and support the kingdom from the comfort of their home.

So maybe that’s who you are. Maybe that’s what God has in store for you. To be a radical evangelist who will go to unchartered territories and all the men around you are not going to be supportive.

So while he works in the backend to make you the right partner for you to meet and set the world on fire with the gospel it may seem as though God is closing all the doors.

But he is not. Stop asking yourself Why is God keeping me single?

Just trust him. Even if you can’t see what is happening trust that his plans for you are good and not evil.

And when you do one day it will all make sense and you will be glad you waited.