10 Foolproof Christian Dating Advice Tips For Single Mothers

OK, so you have been single for a while (hopefully,- you can’t just rush from one relationship to another), and are ready to commit to being found and settling down with THE ONE that God has set aside for you!

The fact that you are single shows that you may have been doing it all wrong one way or the other. Unless of course, you are a widow which is also understandable, my sincere condolences to you.

But if you are a divorcee, the average serial dater, or just being single for having made wrong decisions, worry not!

This Christian Dating advice is good enough for every single lady desiring to be found by their Boaz and move on to their next stage of life.

Whether it is your first time desiring a godly husband, (like me who absolutely did not, before God wrecked my life).

Or you have been at it but not finding any success.

Here are 10 godly relationship and Christian advice tips for a single mother to know before you start dating. 

They  will help you to enter into a courtship that will not only protect you but bring glory to God.

And granted to result in that godly marriage union that we all so desire.

Tip 1: You must Have been single for at least a year to heal from your past mistakes

OK listen, I know that God created us to be social creatures. We thrive in groups. We need companionship.

But jumping from one relationship to another will surely not make the next one better for you.

The Christian Dating advice I have for you is to Take responsibility for your part in the breaking down of your previous relationship. And work on yourself to mend that broken part of you.

Naturally, we women, love to talk. And this could be a reason why the previous relationship ended. 

Talking too much, and nagging can be a cause for breaking up relationships.

If you struggle with controlling your tongue use this season of singleness to allow the Holy Spirit to work in you. To make you a wife. 

To bring the fruit of the Holy Spirit at work in you. It takes time alone to reflect, accept, heal and take down the walls and make you a suitable partner to whoever God brings into your life.

After dealing with your own issue you also need to deal with the heartbreaks, trauma, and pain that the previous relationships caused you.

Most ladies harbor bitterness for the cheating, violence, and different things that happened with their exes. But bitterness like I always say in my Christian Dating advice, is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.

It only destroys you. So deal with whatever issues you had. Get therapy, prayer, and even deliverance from stuff that may have come inside you through pain, fear, soul ties, or sexual immorality.

After the Holy Spirit is done cleaning all these nasty stuff from your life then you may be clean and ready for a new relationship.

Give yourself time sis. There is no need to rush things. 

Take this awesome Christian Dating advice and Allow the Holy Spirit to clean you, to remove any nasty stuff from your life. 

And when you are clean, pure and new. Then you will surely be the epitome of a Proverbs 31 woman that every godly man desires

Tip 2:Be in right standing with God

I don’t know how your relationship with God was before now. But I know that in my last relationship there wasn’t any.

I was lukewarm, I was worldly and carnal and you couldn’t tell me anything.

And I thought I was ready to be someone’s wife. 

What a joke right?

How can I love anyone when I can’t even love myself? How could I be a wife to anyone when I was lost, incomplete, and needy?

My Christian Dating advice for you is this.

Listen, beloved, we all have that God-sized hole in our hearts. A hole that no amount of money, earthly pleasure, or relationship can fill. Nothing else except God can fill that hole.

Until God fills that void in our lives we will keep chasing after relationships. The devil will continue to deceive you that this boy was the wrong one, go on to the next one, and he will give you what you are looking for.

But take it from me. Accept this free Christian Dating advice. The only thing that you will be doing is creating soul ties for yourself chasing after something that you will never satisfy you.

Only GOD can fill that place in your heart. Apart from him, there is no other.

So we must indeed seek first the kingdom of God. Seek to know him, his plans, and his thoughts towards you. When you have a solid relationship with God the bible says that all these things will be added unto you.

A husband is one of the “all these things”. And without a doubt, God will lead you to the rightful man because he will be walking with you. That’s some Christian Dating advice that will change your life forever.

Tip 3: Trust God to lead you to the perfect man, God 1st not you

OK, so when your relationship with your creator is solid you come to God and tell him what you want.

The Bible says that when you make God the focus of your life, then he will give you what you want. When we are in a relationship the bible says God calls us his friends John 15:15 

And friends give their friends the right advice, they correct them when they are wrong and they lead them to the right path.

The same will happen to us when we trust God. 

My foolproof Christian Dating advice is that Before you decide to start dating take a journal sit down and have a date with God. 

Write down all the characteristics that you want from your godly husband-to-be. 

Write them to the T. God is a rewarder to those who diligently seek him the bible says, and he can surprisingly grant you every desire of your heart. 

Nothing is insignificant. Be specific. From the appearance, beliefs, faith, values, beliefs, and all these other things.

After doing this pray that God leads you to the right man who fits this description.

Please note, go to God when there is no one yet in sight. Most of you ladies meet a guy and want God to stamp his approval that he is the one.

No, don’t do that. I’m giving you some solid Christian Dating advice.

Go to God and discuss your husband before you meet anyone. Then ask Him to lead the way and lead you to the right way. Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you during the courtship process and not to the wrong one.

I don’t know about you, but at 35 with a kid, I am too old to be going on endless dates trying to meet the right guy.

I trust God to place me in the way of my husband, and what I told God is that the first man that I have feelings for will be my husband.

And it’s a few weeks shy of 2 years since I have been single and NOT searching. Because I know that when the time is right, God will place that man in my path or vice versa.

And when those feelings start I will know this is the one and only. My Christian Dating advice comes from experience that has worked excellently.

Tip 4: Expose yourself to your desired target groups

Speaking of asking God to place me in my husband’s path girl the struggle is real.

Whether to try online dating or not is a very common question among Christians.

Well, each to his own. It basically depends on where you are in the world and how you want your relationship to be. 

Personally, I live in a country where men are not going to start up a conversation with you in the supermarket, on the tram, on the train, or on the sidewalk.

People simply mind their business and let’s be honest, most people meet online. Online dating is the norm where I live.

But I have been there and done that. And it doesn’t make it easy that this country is one of the most liberal with more unbelievers than believers.

So the chances of finding the godly husband that I want are honestly slim to none, let alone on a dating site. 

Oh, my days!

So where does a sister find a husband?

My Christian Dating advice in such circumstances is to Go to church, go to Christian gatherings, concerts, gatherings, and any other place where your desired man can be found.

I mean you may already be a member of a church and you think none of the guys there is a good fit for you.

No problem. Go out and meet other like-minded people. Join Facebook groups, and just invest in fellowship with other like-minded believers.

In there you can find your, Mr. Perfect

Tip 5:Court a believer that is equally yoked

As I explained in the previous point that if you want to meet a godly man go to where he can be found. I assumed that as a single God-fearing woman that is what you are looking for.

But I will explain and give some friendly Christian Dating advice on why you NEED to be dating just that kind of guy.

This is a very common bible verse that people use to explain that we must marry each other as believers.

It actually makes life better when you share the same beliefs, values, and expectations.

Marrying a nonbeliever is harmless you may think. I was that person. In fact, as I speak I have never been in a relationship with a believer.

Well, that’s because my last relationship ended when I found God and I have not dated since.

But, during my single period, I met and was acquainted with God and came to desire a God-fearing man more than anything.

I honestly look at my life and can’t believe how I got here. I used to say in my young wild days that church guys were boring and no fun at all. I wanted worldly guys who were full of fun.

But GOD…

Oh, He wrecked me. He delivered me from all that worldliness and now I only seek men who will understand who I am, who will support me in my call, for it is great.

Someone who will uplift me in prayer, encourage me in the things of the Lord and not divert me from it. 

I didn’t get this Christian Dating advice from anyone, but I have seen the hand of God in my life experientially.

Paul says that a woman can marry whoever she desires as long as they (the man) are in the Lord.

That is the only requirement for a woman to marry. As long as they are in the Lord. That’s amazing Christian Dating advice, right? 

Your choice baby!!

So if you do not feel called to be with someone who will be your ministry partner the way that I am, then at least hear what our beloved Apostle Paul said about the basis for marriage. 

Tip 6: Don’t be desperate, a real man will pursue you and show his intentions to you

Alright, so one other thing that I have seen from studying women in relationships, even with other “Christian” men, we just are not perfect. We all fall short.

Unfortunately, a guy who goes to church doesn’t automatically become a God-fearing man.

Some men just go to church for religion and some I have found to meet “nice, innocent church girls’.

So dears, be aware. Let me be blunt and give you some life-changing Christian Dating advice. The devil comes as a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Be very aware of who you are letting in. 

Do not prove to those people that church ladies are naive and not as smart as these men think. Show them that God has given us a spirit of power, a spirit of love, and self-control.

Do not let yourself be thrown into and tangled up with the wrong crowd. Don’t be involved with men who mistreat you because they desire you or “because he is a church guy.”

A man must show his interest in you. He must pursue you. Women absolutely love to be pursued and a man who does not do this does not know and value your worth.

It’s only natural that we like to be shown affection.

All these verses above show how women need to be loved. And this Christian Dating advice helps us know the bible guidelines.

So if you are a man reading this, this is how you need to pursue a woman. 

Show them, love. Love them the way you love your own body. make her feel safe and not doubt or question your commitment.

And as for you my beloved sisters, if he doesn’t give you that attention you may need to re-evaluate if he indeed is into you or if you are forcing things.

Men say they do not call or text because they are too busy. I am a single mum with a crazy job but I always find time for the things and people that I love.

If you are not a priority then you are an option.

And trust me, you don’t want to waste time being a plan B. No, do not. Take this free Christian Dating advice and Run sis run!!

Tip 7:He must be desirable to you

So I have heard many tales about how Christians don’t or must not marry because of love. But because they are Christians. Listen, sis, that is weird to me. 

Clearly, apostle Paul says marry whoever YOU WANT as long as they are in the Lord. That’s the only thing that matters.

But he has to be who you want. Remember that list that I mentioned earlier? The one with the physical attributes, finances, and all that other stuff that you may fancy?

Yes, that stuff. 

There is a reason why we write that down. A marriage must also have passion. There must be physical desire. Read the Song of Solomon and see how passion and desire are necessary for a relationship.

This verse shows that you must see beauty in your partner. There should be some physical attraction to help with that passion. 

It really is stressful to force marriage on someone who you absolutely feel nothing for. Good Christian Dating advice right?

Even if we are Christians we are still humans and sex is a gift in a marriage institution. And sex is best when you have a feeling for and are attracted to that person.

So choose wisely. Obviously, looks must not be the only determining factor for a relationship. I mean for me they used to be.

But at this point God is above everything else then looks come later. 

Tip 8:Be upfront with your wishes- boundaries, expectations, and deal breakers.

It may be surprising for you guys to learn that not all Christian couples date the godly way.

Most people compromise in relationships just like the way the average Christian compromises about everything else in our day-to-day lives.

But this is one issue I am very passionate about in my ministry. Abstaining and pursuing purity outside marriage.

I am strongly anti-sexual immorality. It really doesn’t matter who you are or what circumstances you are in.

What matters is the word of God and that to me is the only truth that I live by. 

So if you are a bible believing and following the disciple of Jesus like I am you already know what your dos and don’ts are in life or in a relationship. This Christian Dating advice helps you immensely in more ways than one.

Make this known to that guy. Your stance on sex before marriage. Yes, celibacy is a thing and it does not kill. I am celibate and I am alive and well.

You need to lay your cards on the table from day one. What things do you expect, what are the dealbreakers? 

I believe that abstaining is abstaining period. No kissing. I don’t get the point of kissing before marriage. Kissing is a sexual act so that is also fornication. although most believers think it’s only sexual intercourse that they have to hold up on.

While they make out, touch each other and everything else. See what I mean when I say my standards are high and that I only need a man directly from God. Otherwise, no worldly man can keep up with my standards.

and I’m not afraid to let my requests and desires known. If itas too much for you- boy bye. You are not my husband. 

I am worth the wait. I do not want to fornicate and sin and give the devil a foothold over my life. Been there done that at this point I’m over it.

Not today satan!!

Tip 9:Think about your children. How he views kids, how he will be a good father

Before you start dating look at your situation. You are not the same person as you were back in your 20s when you had no care in the world.

Now you are a mum with kids. Kids who depending on your specific circumstance may have been exposed to different traumas of stuff like divorce, losing their dad, or just a bad father who didn’t want to be in their lives.

Ladies, I have Christian Dating advice for you- DO NOT be that mum who has a new boyfriend every other week. 

Exposing your kids to all these different men can have both a negative and positive impact on your kids.

The thing with kids is they easily get attached to someone especially if they are lacking and in need of a father figure. When a man steps up to that kids easily start perceiving him like he is what they need.

And mama thinks about what happens when that relationship ends and the kids are already attached? What kind of trauma will that have on the kids? They will suffer from withdrawal from missing him.

The same applies if, for example, your boyfriend that you brought around your kids is abusive.

You will be exposing your kids to violence and that stuff traumatizes them. Mommy, please think and consider your kids.

How you act towards and around your kids shapes who they will be. The way you act when it comes to men will influence especially your daughters.

Let’s be perfect role models for our kids by acting the way you would expect them to always act.

Also on the same issue, you ended to be looking for a man that will indeed be a father figure to your kids. Regardless of whether they have their real father in the picture or not if he will be with you, then he better be good to your kids.

As a mum, your kids must always come first. Don’t end up with someone who either doesn’t like kids or just tolerates them for your sake.

Instead, court someone who will love them like his own.

If not, again, Boy bye.

Tip 10:Don’t idolize finding the one

Lastly, after all, is said and done. The best Christian dating advice that I will give you is NOT TO IDOLIZE THE DATING PROCESS.

Sis listen to me. Even after having fulfilled all the requirements do not make dating the most important thing in your life that it takes the place of God in your life.

Yes like I mentioned in the beginning, we are all social creatures. And the pursuit of the one may get so overwhelming that all our focus is focused on it.

Please don’t spend all your time on dating sites swiping left or right or however, you wanna swipe.

Don’t spend all your time obsessing about guy X, why hasn’t he called me or texted me so much so that it takes the place of God in your life.

Remember that anything that takes the place of God in your life is an idol. So worshipping idols does not always have to be worshipping carved images.

It also means that thing that is most important to you in your life outside God. 

Don’t do it. Yes, I know it’s fun and nice in the early stages. But remember your creator. Continue to spend time in his presence to hear his voice. His thoughts and his guidance.

Remember man plans but it is God who always directs our plans. But we have to be able to allow him to direct our steps by continually spending time with him.

So my beloveds, I hope that the Christian dating advice will be of blessed and helpful use to your life to get it the right first time.